Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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