I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
