so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
i think i just lost a toe
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
