I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
