As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
