i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
