I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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