id be glad to
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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