I'm drive I can fine osifer
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
