ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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