You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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