I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You ruined the universe
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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