Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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