yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
