3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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