So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
