Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
