Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
