So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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