His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
