wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
