i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
