Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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