so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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