Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
