maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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