i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
