chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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