Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
