you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
MIDGETS
????
you never un-have a 4some
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
