The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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