u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
