The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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