The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
operation have a gay friend backfired
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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