Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
