i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
