47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
