It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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