I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize