I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize