words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
