the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
