Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
