Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Randomize
