Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
