I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i will never coherently bang her
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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