Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
