honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
