i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
So many bounce houses so little time
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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