he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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