Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Everyone says I win the strip club
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
