I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
