making cat noises will not fix the situation.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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