Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
