I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
