I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
