and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
