i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
