my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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