Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
